I'm (Jared) writing this post sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for a room to be cleaned that I ordered days ago. I'm, of course, thinking about having the capacity to do things well. The hotel staff told us that the rooms in their hotel were extra dirty from the weekend (of music auditions) so it took longer to clean them all. [insert stinky musician joke].
Hannah and I are away celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary, so as I am waiting I am drawing parallels between what it takes to have the capacity to make sure all your hotel rooms are cleaned by the time you promise, and what it takes to have the capacity to make sure your marriage stays strong and you can grow in relationship together.
Will your marriage last? Will it stand up when everything our culture says tries to knock it down? What are you doing, whether you're single, engaged, or married, in order to build capacity for a lasting marriage?
Some things that have helped us are:
- Communicate Openly
- Always Keep Dating
- Find friends in the same stage of life
- Give each other personal time alone to do things they enjoy
There are tons of things you can do. Find common ground about making sure you, and the people you choose to be around, make your marriage a priority. Do things together and on your own that build your capacity to do a great job being a husband or wife.
And perhaps more importantly, learn to avoid the things that slowly demolish your relationship. Things done in secret, speaking disrespectfully, using phones when you're in the same room, the list goes on. You know what things to call into question in your own relationships. Avoid these things, and focus on pouring in the positive things that help you build capacity to do things the right way in your relationships.