How do you receive a message you don't want to hear? How do you respond when you've been offended?
Understanding is shown by behavior, and this behavior is the greatest predictor of gentleness.
More often than not, people who don't show gentleness generate their responses based on the most recent circumstance in their life, no matter whether it was good or bad, or produced positive or negative emotions as a consequence.
Instead of formulating a gentle response through this lens, un-gentle folks typically respond from secondary emotions (anger, fear, desperation, etc.) which oppose this type of behavior.
Looking out for yourself is not completely useless, but doing it should have purpose. There are entirely too many people in this world consumed by pride, and even more negative situations created by it. But you have the power to change your situation using this
If you're interested in changing the world for the better, finding breakthrough in a relationship, creating a positive atmosphere around yourself; one that invites, connects, or inspires others then you should give this a try.
Training yourself to respond instead of react, choosing to lift others above yourself, inspiring people to become their best version of themselves instead of micromanaging their productivity, letting people discover and explore instead of serve your purposes, and choosing to be gentle rather than prideful or angry are all ways to put this into action.
You can change your world and you can do it without force. With this as your starting point there's nothing to hold you back.
["This" is humility. (which is spelled out by the first letter of each of the preceding paragraphs) To be gentle, you must be humble. Portray the opposite of pride, anger, and anxiety and you will indeed change your world.]